


Parlay

by ursa



Series: Dead Heat [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV), teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Gen, Introspection, LSD, Not Beta Read, OT3, angst but not really, fuckbuddy-zoned, lydia/stiles/derek, pining but not really, prelude to, self-depreciation, sterek, what the hell is a booty call
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 02:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ursa/pseuds/ursa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He does it sometimes with a smuggled bottle of Jack, sometimes maybe a lacrosse stick and a pile of balls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parlay

_Maybe it's love, love at first slightly drunk-_

 

It wasn’t like she’s his girlfriend though.

 

It was never really established between them, what with Stiles being emotionally unavailable towards other people half the time and Lydia being engrossed at keeping up appearances for the sake of not going back to the deep end herself. It was bad enough she had that incident last year and sticking with Stilinski would’ve probably made whatever progress she had with the student body void. Oddly enough, Stiles seems to be content with this set up.

 

Lydia never told Stiles why it happened, why it keeps happening, how she’s suddenly gone for a week and then back again. It was very much like what they do during those nights in the Jeep, probably Stiles’ room, maybe Lydia’s. For a while after Lydia first came back, Stiles stayed cool. He didn’t push her into divulging what happened and where she went but it was there in the back of his mind, a niggling doubt about her, about them. He so badly wanted to; his brain trying to understand how she could just uproot their dynamic so easily and easing back in without a word of disclaimer. He’s wanted more between them for so long that when the continued rendezvous started happening, he thought that maybe it could end up being something more. But then the sudden absences started to occur. It makes his head hurt thinking about it but then Lydia’s knocking on his door again and the consequent overdose in endorphins pretty much derails that train of brooding.

 

It’s a hot and cold relationship that keeps giving Stiles the kind of backlash he gets whenever some asshole in front of him decides to stomp the breaks at a red light. It’s tiring. And it’s no wonder why Stiles would choose to detach himself from the kind of emotion people reserve for people they’re investing their interests in. With Lydia, that interest is off the charts- it has been since he first laid his eyes on her. But between the silent doors and occupied beds, Stiles feels wrung out like an old dishtowel, spread thin and tatty.

 

So he leaves. He leaves at night, just after six, just after he tells his dad he’ll go for a run with the Sheriff only cocking an eyebrow at him and a sigh before ducking into his cruiser. He leaves just before Lydia decides to knock again, before he lets her in, lets her drape her arms around him and kissing him with nothing but a smirk and that damn camisole. It’s the kind of sexual frustration he never thought he’d get; it’s empty sex at the end of the day, somewhat like mutual masturbation with another participant.

 

It’s been months since the first time he fucked her in his bed, sober and bright eyed. He remembers each sensation and he feels nothing but coldness at each phantom touch. Lydia is by no means a fridge- she’s a spitfire even in bed, always eager, insistent, and responsive. But Stiles doesn’t have anyone else to compare now is there? There’s only been Lydia that enraptured him like she did and even with the continuous crisis on attraction, he’s not particularly attracted to anyone else. Sure he appreciates the physicality of some people but there’s always that one thing that never really made him come after anyone. But after the erratic presence of Lydia in and out of school, he’s becoming less and less enthusiastic with what’s going on between them.

 

He’s tired of the situation but not of Lydia. Never, he thinks. But then again- Lydia’s interest has never been that consistent with him either. He thinks about Scott and Allison, how they fucked each other up from the shallowest of things up to the most complicated (hunters and wolves aren’t the best combination after all), how they went on and off, pining and hating each other until they crashed and burned and simply let things go. It was such a tragic romance and it leaves Stiles mouth dry and bitter.

 

But this thing with Lydia is not altogether different. They may not fight but they definitely do not talk. As much as Stiles wants to think of it as something else, it really isn’t. It’s a friends-with-benefits relationship with more emphasis on benefits than friends. And it fucking hurts.

 

Stiles may deny it all he wants in the face of his friends but when it comes down to it, he knows for sure that he’s just the subpar substitute for Jackson.

 

He ruminates on this every night and it really isn’t healthy. He knows this but he does it anyway. He does it sometimes with a smuggled bottle of Jack, sometimes maybe a lacrosse stick and a pile of balls. It looks pathetic and he knows it. He doesn’t dare tell Scott everything though. He wants to but there’s always that hesitation, either due to fear of being shamed or just plain shame for admitting this situation which is really pitiful even in his own eyes.

 

He’s just so fucking stupid about Lydia Martin. It’s not like he’s obsessively trying to be her One anymore, he doesn’t even have this fifteen-year-plan either. But he stumbles at every opportunity to say no to her and it’s all because of a stupid crush that never went away completely. It could’ve been so much better if he fell in love and she did too and they fought and fell apart. It would make so much more sense.

 

It’s a Friday afternoon and he’s sitting in his Jeep in the parking lot of the school. He sighs and cranks up the stereo volume.

 

  
_I can see what's coming_   
_but I'm not saying it._   


**Author's Note:**

> Because I need something to warm up to sterek. I really need to finish Exacta.
> 
> Here: [listen to Midnight Coward by Stars.](www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCC-J03vJyI)  
> That's my personal headcanon theme song for my rendition of Stydia.


End file.
